Tutor Marked Assessment - The Open University

I am about to blow my reputation as an erudite student of the humanities right out of the water with the following. This represents the answers to the philosophy questions in Tutor Marked Assessment 02 in my course. It is, I will say in my defence, a level 1 course and therefore we mere students are only expected to skim the surface of the deep well of philosophical thought and knowledge that has been passed to us from Pluto, Socrates, Descartes, Nietsche, and others too difficult to mention.

The questions were about - What is an argument? - What is a sound argument? - What is an inductive argument, as opposed to a deductive argument? - and so forth. And you can see from the below the expert grasp I have on the subject. Now I know what you're thinking. Surely, you are saying to yourself, surely this is the work of a thousand monkeys sitting at a thousand typewriters, or perhaps it is the work of just one monkey and a spell-checker. No, alas, no. It is I. Now the study guide I have open here beside me poses the question, Why study philosophy? And it answers itself by telling us; "One important reason for studying philosophy is that it deals with the fundamental questions about the meaning of existence. Why are we here? Does God exist? What is art? Why is there a monster under my bed?" And so on. So having grappled with these questions, and having practiced pacing up and down with our hands behind our backs for hours on end, we were given this assessment. I cannot tell you how relieved I was. I was afraid they would ask us - Could our lives be a dream?- or something. I had even started to formulate an answer to that one. I goes like this:
If my life is a dream and I wake up then I will exist in real life and therefore my life cannot be a dream. On the other hand if my life is a dream and I do not wake up then my life is a dream, or I am dead. On the other hand if my life is someone else's dream and they wake up then I am dead also. And on the other hand (that would be the fourth hand, wouldn't it) if my life is someone else's dream and they don't wake up then I hope it's a wet dream. 'S a fucking nightmare really!